Tom Hiddleston, books, Marvel, cute animals, food, Pokémon, Sailor Moon, history, current events(politics, what's going on in the world, that kind of stuff), among other things…
concept: instead of hedwig, Harry goes into the pet store and this little snake in the back of the store talks to him, obviously gets his attention more than the other animals, and harry feels sorry for it so he takes it home. Then the snake helps Harry throughout his years at hogwarts as harry carries it wrapped around his hand all like “pssssst, haaarryyy, the dark lord isss coming sss” or just petty shit like “haaaarrryy, now is the time, assskkk out cho chaaannngg”
The snake getting really agitated in second year and Harry like ‘Aw, what’s wrong little friend?’
And snake’s like ‘Nah don’t worry it’s cool, it’s just that big fuck-off snake in the pipes that keeps making you think you’re hearing things—it’s like, ten thousand foot long, and I’m a corn snake, so you know. Bit intimidating.’
Third year he eats Scabbers and saves them all a lot of time
So here’s another “humans are weird” idea; what if aliens didn’t digest with acid, what if they just had water that passively let their consumed substances dissolve before diffusing straight to the blood stream(or their equivalent). As a result of this they’d probably eat less than us overall and probably softer foods too which could lead to less durable teeth (or whatever they use to chew: if they even do that).
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When zorlack first joined the human crew he didn’t know what to expect; he was already aware of some of the human stereotypes: loud, aggressive but also, loyal, and curious. When he first took a tour around the ship everything seemed typical of your average transport vessel: engine room, crews quarters, storage. Everything was typical except food storage, it was practically overflowing with food.
He presumed that their first transport would be across two quadrants (bare minimum) for the ships crew to need that much food. He continued with this presumption until he found out which star system they were transporting to: the Orion spur.
Meaning one of three things: the humans were paranoid about starvation, the engine was really slow or, humans really needed that much food. But why? It would take weeks to consume even a fraction of the amount of food they had. Was it a display of wealth? He had heard of some human cultures perceiving increased weight as increased wealth; was this a similar display? He had to inquire further to know for certain, humans were confusing beings after all and since they’re so recent to the galactic stage not much was known of their behaviour.
Once cargo was loaded they were off. It wasn’t that far of a journey (well, not that far for a ship that can go faster than light, a couple days at most) so while on his break zorlack decided to inquire about the ridiculous amounts of food on the ship.
“Captain, why do we need so much food on the ship?” Zorlack asked when he had some of the Captains time. “How do you mean?” He replied. “You have enough food to last weeks, even months. Why do we need that much?”
“Months? Have they overstocked or something, it’s meant to only last us a couple of days, maybe a week if we’re lucky” the captain replied as he started walking to food storage to check.
Upon inspection there appeared to be enough food to last the trip, or at least to the captain it appeared that way. He wasn’t sure what the arflexian was so worked up about. “There seems to be enough food to me, I don’t see what the fuss is about”
“But sir, this should last several more weeks than the couple days we should be on board, unless you’re telling me that the crew needs this much food” zorlack huffed.
“Well it’s because we do need that much food” the captain replied blankly. “How could you need that much? It would take forever to dissolve in water, especially with how tough a lot of that is”
“Water? Why would you dissolve it in water? Wouldn’t you just eat it normally?” The captain seemed truly confused now. “Yes water, the water in your stomach used to wear down ingested materials” Zorlack said matter-of-factly.
“I’m afraid our stomachs use acid Zorlack.” The captain finally understanding zorlacks confusion.“Your stomachs use…what?” By now the captain had walked away to resume their duties.
Over the course of the next few days Zorlack decided to see if the captain was right, he was still quite doubtful that they’d need that much food. But, as the captain predicted, the human crewmembers had eaten their way through the food storage; only the emergency rations remained.
They restocked at the nearest port ready for the next shipment order. Turns out that the acidity didn’t just apply to the human stomach either and Zorlack made a mental note to avoid getting bitten by a human.
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