piedude:

jumpingjacktrash:

onceuponamirror:

memesandshipsgalore:

beckyhop:

dixon-arrows:

moldychesee:

narwhal-noir:

pajarosdelamancha:

jamesandlilys:

digitalfare:

orriculum:

svynakee:

thirdtimecharmed:

altonzm:

french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you

italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house

american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. 

English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy

Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.

Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts

Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it.

Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three

Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT.

Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries’ cuisines AND neuroses.

Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so gl 

ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion. 

internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister’s third birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown.

Irish recipes:

angryschnauzer:

persephone-is-here-omg:

fuckmethroughthesheets:

fuckmethroughthesheets:

Well, I guess since I can’t post nakey photos anymore I’m gonna have to get real explicit with my erotica. I’ll start posting that here. 😏😈

Maybe I’ll ONLY write erotica about Female Presenting Nipples. Like the most graphic descriptions possible. Just pages upon pages of nipples.

Suck on that, @staff

Pettiness is always the best inspiration, count me in!

Good idea! I’m in too!

protect-and-love-animals:

ladyoftheteaandblood:

neil-gaiman:

Because tumblr isn’t a book of mine. It’s, at its best, a community, which includes a number of things, and sexuality is one of the things it includes.

I’ve got about 400,000 people following me here, and I’ve never stopped to investigate what any of them are or what they like. But sometimes I’ll click on the tumblr of someone who’s asked a good question or reblogged with an interesting comment, and found myself in very NSFW places.

I was impressed by this piece on Medium today: https://medium.com/@vexashley/porn-on-tumblr-a-eulogy-love-letter-6d45e70fefff which is far more knowledgeable about these things than I am.

Porn on Tumblr — a eulogy / love letter – Vex Ashley – Medium

Thank you @neil-gaiman